Bye bye, love you

This morning as I left for work I turned to Evelyn and said, "Bye bye, love you." She looked at me and said, "Bye bye" and then smacked her lips together, the way she does when I ask for kisses.

What a beautiful way to start the week.

My little girl, so curious, so adventerous, so loving, so observant.

Our first Light Rail ride downtown. Such an adventure!

Mama Bear

Yesterday was a bad day. Really, it was the fourth in a string of stressful days this week. But let's not talk of that...let's focus on the madness of yesterday.

I'll just start from the top. Yesterday was Evelyn's second day of daycare. The first didn't go so well and I didn't knowhow the second would go. Evelyn had been a little under the weather all week (daycare germs!), not sleeping well, runny nose, general fussiness. Anyway, when I picked her up from daycare, the woman told me about her day (not so great), asked if we wanted to give it another try, and then....then, she said the following:

"I think being around other kids is important for Evelyn because SHE IS REALLY BEHIND."

Wha?! I was too baffled in the moment to ask her about it. How was she behind? Am I blinded by my love for Evelyn and not seeing some glaring issues? Should she be talking more? Should she be stacking blocks? Should she be giving me her take on the healthcare reform law? What??

I left, getting Evelyn into the car while a million thoughts swirled. But as I loaded her into the car, looking at her face so happy to see me, I knew this lady was wrong. And she wasn't just wrong, she was stupid And she wasn't just stupid, she was vile. And then, let's not pull any punches here, I wanted to cut a bitch.

I went into full-on Mama Bear mode. How could this woman tell ME that MY CHILD was "behind?" She has seen her for two days! In an unusual setting! With new kids and routines and foods and toys! I called my mother-in-law. I called my mother. I ranted and raved and thought of pulling Evelyn out of his terrible woman's daycare.

But then I listened to my own mother, who I'm sure at times has had her own Mama Bear moment, and called the daycare lady back to ask some follow-up questions.

"Hi, daycare lady. Do you have a few minutes to chat? You said something when I was leaving and I should have asked you about it at the time but I got a little flustered picking up Evelyn. You said she was "behind" the other children. Can you tell me in what ways?"

"Oh, sure, well...she doesn't interact as much. She isn't speaking as much. She won't sit down for preschool and color. She is generally a little immature. And all of these things will get better as she is --"

"Let me interrupt you right there. Can I ask...are you comparing her to the other girls in your care? Because I know they are two and two-and-a-half years old. And while Evelyn is as tall as they are and as large as they are, she is only 18 months old."

"Oh...she's only 18 months old?"

"Yes."

"I thought she was closer to two years old."

"No, she is 18 months. She is just tall."

"Oh...well...then, I'm so sorry. I was wrong. She isn't behind at all. I'm so sorry."

"Glad we had this chat, or I might have punched you in the neck the next time I saw you."

OK, so that last sentence was just in my mind, but the rest is for reals. Daycare lady thought Evelyn was older because she is tall. My mom warned me about this, and here it is. Height doesn't equal age. I know this lady knew that Evelyn was 18 months old because we talked about it and I filled out all the paperwork, but I don't think she internalized that information. Evelyn is as big or bigger than the much older girls at this daycare, and I think this lady just forgot that they are different ages. I am still worked up about what happened, but she apologized and I can forgive her.

But don't mess with my kid. I will cut you.

Beauty

First day of daycare. A little blurry, but you get the idea. Isn't Evelyn cute?


(So I mentioned in my last daycare post that Ev didn't do so well at daycare. She had a rough morning, did not nap with the other kids, but then had a better afternoon -- as long as she had her pacifier and blanket on hand. This morning I dropped her off and she started crying and saying, "Mama!"and holding her hands up. Oh, my heart ripped in two. She also made another little girl cry. ALSO, she has been mildly sick since last week, now that she's all immersed in "daycare germs." I am totally rethinking this whole idea...but, um, I guess we have no choice. Curses.)

On a happier day, a few weeks ago in some unseasonably warm weather: More fun with bubbles. Also, my daughter is amazingly beautiful.

Spring snow

Digging out from a foot of heavy, spring snow. It was wild....yesterday until about noon it was warm and sunny. Around 4pm it started to rain. Snow started around 5:30 and by 8pm there was already five inches of snow on the grass!

Luckily, this kind of snow melts quickly. And doubly lucky, our neighbor used his snowblower on our sidewalk this morning!

Razor blades and heat registers

This weekend Evelyn cut her hand in a few places. Nothing serious, just a couple of cuts requiring a couple of band-aids. Her blood is freakishly bright red (is this a little kid thing? Or just a "my kid" thing?) but aside from that and a little "oh my gosh!" moment, all was well. But what if it wasn't? I had this imaginary conversation in my head envisioning what it would be like if we had needed to go to the doctor:

Doctor: "Well, it doesn't look too bad, but how did this happen?"

Me: "Oh, well, Evelyn picked up a razor blade and started playing with it."

Doctor: Pause

Me: "Not that we keep razor blades strewn about the house! No! Um, she was playing in some construction debris."

Doctor: Double pause.

Me: "But, you know, it's not like I let her just randomly run across the street to frolic in construction debris..."

Doctor: "Okay..."

Me: "We took her to a construction site and then let her run around freely. So, you know, we're good parents."

Me: "And then when we saw her pick up something metal and shiny we thought it was just some scrap metal or a washer or something, so we just let her have it."

Me: "But it was a razor blade."

Doctor: "Security!!"

And Scene.


Yes, that was Saturday, when Jon and I stopped by his shop to check on the progress and Evelyn picked up a piece of safe-looking metal that happened to have an open razor blade stuck to the back side. Good times. Oy. That is the second time our first aid kit has come in handy in the past couple weeks. Kids...they're fun.

Fun and silly. This morning Evelyn was trying to crawl down into the heat register in the floor. I'm guessing she doesn't realize that she is bigger than the 3 inch x 7 inch hole in the floor. She kept taking the cover off the vent and trying to get her feet down in there. Cuz that's perfectly safe. Sigh...

I would like to say that Evelyn is getting increasingly more exhausting as she gets older. It's cruel, really. When you have a newborn you think you couldn't possibly be more tired. Then you get a little break when your baby starts sleeping better at night but still isn't mobile. THEN they start crawling, then walking, then running, and then the days get so tiring that you long for the days when your baby would cry every three hours because at least you could sit on the chair and hold them while being still.

But, lest you think I am a big sourpuss, Evelyn is also getting so much more fun. Her awesomeness is on par with her exhaustingness, so they even each other out and make everything totally worth it. She loves everything, she is intrigued by everything, she is learning so much that I think her head might explode with knowledge.

I love that kid. I lay in bed at night and think about how funny she is, how sweetly mischievous she is, how much I love her. During the day she can be aggravating and tiring, but it is just because she is so excited to explore the world that she can't sit still for one minute. I guess that's not so bad.

* * * * * * *
Jon's shop website is up and running! Check out www.fortunecookietattoo.com. Construction is really coming along and he should be open for business in the first week of April!

D-Day

Today was D-Day in the Lew Household.

Daycare Day.

Of course, knowing something was up or just being an all-around stinker, Evelyn did not sleep soundly last night, woke up and got a bottle sometime in the middle of the night, and subsequently slept in this morning. Of course. Because it was time to go to daycare.

So I got up and took a shower. Then I woke Jon up and said, "Um, you might want to wake Evelyn because we need to leave in 20 minutes." (He and I were both going this first morning, when normally it will just be Evelyn and I.) We snatched Evelyn from her sweet slumber, changed her clothes, brushed her hair, gathered all the enrollment paperwork, munched on a graham cracker, and set off on our grand adventure. Jon, dutifully, stopped Evelyn on the front step to get her "first day of daycare" photo. He's such a good dad.

I was nervous that Evelyn would be too sad without her blanket and pacifier. I thought she might miss us. I thought she would be scared. That was dumb. As soon as we arrived, another little girl about 2 years old greeted us, took Evelyn over to the toys, and that was it. Evelyn couldn't have cared less if we were there or not. We kissed her goodbye and she was all, "Whatever. You're still here? See ya, suckas!"

Now, I hope the rest of the day goes as smoothly. I might call during nap time just to check in. Is it OK if I am that mom? Yes, yes it is.

So Evelyn will be in daycare one day a week for now. My sister-in-law mentioned that since this is only one day each week, and there are three or four other kids the same age as Evelyn, she might just see this as her fun play day. I hope so. I hope she likes it. I was calling daycare "school," just because I thought it would be easier to say, but then Jon said maybe we shouldn't call it school until we know she likes it. Good associations, and all. I hope that Evelyn likes her day away from her house and her routine. I hope she gets to play outside and learn new skills and find new friends.

***An Update
I called the daycare lady, Mary Jo, and apparently Evelyn isn't doing so well. She was OK for about an hour and then started crying and freaking out. She won't leave Mary Jo's side. She wouldn't nap with the other children. She won't let go of her blanket. She wouldn't color. She was really only happy when everyone was playing outside. She is sad and a little scared, and so now I am, too. My little baby.

Affectedly dainty or overrefined

pre·cious (adj.)

1. Of high cost or worth; valuable.
2. Highly esteemed; cherished.
3. Dear; beloved.
4. Affectedly dainty or overrefined

When buying some new spring clothes for Evelyn this weekend, I had the thought, "But she is not precious." I mean it in the girly, frilly, #4 kind of meaning, because, of course, she is incredibly precious to us emotionally. But as a person, as a girl, she is not...well, "affectedly dainty or overrefined."

She needed a couple pair of jeans and a few dresses for the new season. I stopped at the Children's Place (having been too busy to get to the giant humongous consignment sale downtown...) and looked around. Frills. Ruffles. White and pink stripes. Bows. Tulle. Yellow flowers on pale green bodices. Decidedly NOT Evelyn.

But...is it really not Evelyn? Or is it not me, and therefore I say it is not Evelyn? Am I projecting my non-frilliness onto her? Am I buying her dinosaur jackets and black pants because they are cute, or because I am rebelling against the "this is for boys, and this is for girls, and never the twain shall meet" attitude marketers seem to have now? I'm not sure. (I mean, seriously. Why are there different sets of Leggos for boys and girls? Do girls need pink building blocks?)

Of course...really...Evelyn is not frilly. She likes dirt and rocks and airplanes and lions. Her clothes are always filthy. But, she also likes her new pink bike, squishy teddy bears and sparkly shoes. It isn't that I purposefully avoid girly things, it's just that if I see a cute shirt across a store, but it happens to be in the boy section, I don't care. Hence why she has a Broncos t-shirt, dinosaur sweat shirt, and boy jeans.

Speaking of jeans and circling back to the Children's Place, their girl jeans are lame. OK, not lame, but so not built for my daughter. Their styles are listed as "slim thigh" with whatever else they have going on. Hello! Toddlers are chunky! Slim thigh? Definitely NOT my child! She has a hard time getting up on the couch and chairs when her pants are too tight in the thigh and then she gets upset. (I can relate.) So I bought her one pair of girl jeans listed as "straight leg" and one pair of boy jeans that are roomier overall. Same length, same waist, just a different cut on the leg. Whatever.

She also got a blue tie-dye dress that will look fabulous with her beautiful blue eyes. It is cotton and not white and easily washable. Just what she needs. She needs more dresses still (because she really does look adorable in them), but I won't be getting her anything overly precious. Because it isn't her.

Funny to think that an 18-month old already has such a personality. But she does. She is 100 percent Evelyn. And *DANG* I love that kid.

Facebook it

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Hooray!

Nannies and daycares and in-home...oh my!

This is a story about the cost of childcare, how it is frakkin expensive, and how it is hard to know the right thing to do.

Jon's shop is coming together, even faster than anticipated, and so I need to start thinking ahead about our daily routines. Right now, we are blessed beyond measure to have my mother-in-law watch Evelyn two days each week, as well as my aunt pitching in one day each week. Knowing that Evelyn has spent every day of her short life with someone who loves her to pieces makes me infinitely happy. The other two days of the week are covered by Jon. I cover no days per week, but, you know, I'm bringing home the bacon and frying it in a pan.

My mother-in-law has said she intends to keep watching Evelyn twice per week. Bless her soul. My aunt has said she will keep watching Evelyn, but her schedule gets a little less predictable as spring and summer approach. Jon's schedule is going to get a lot more tight as construction wraps up and the shop opens. How can we accomodate everyone while still keeping Evelyn out of daycare? Sadly, we can not. Well, not sadly because I am not opposed to daycare. I think it is good for social development and being around kids your age and learning that the world does not revolve around you. Evelyn is really starting to show an interest in playing with other kids and I think having a set group of playmates would be good for her.

So our options are these: nanny, daycare center, or in-home daycare provider. We ruled out nanny since the one person we thought of (our babysitter) already has a full-time job during the day and we don't really want to go finding a nanny. And this is where things get dicey: daycare center, or in-home daycare?

There are a few daycare centers in the area that I would trust, a Kindercare and a fancy Primrose School, both of which have gotten recommendations from people I know, but they are SO expensive. Woah. Kindercare is $75/day with a two day minimum, while Primrose is $95/day with a two day minimum. Really pricey.

In-home care seems the way to go, but it is harder to find a reputable place. There is a lady two doors down our street that runs an in-home daycare, but she is full, and only takes kids three days per week minimum. She is cheap, though, at $35/day, and our other neighbor highly recommends her. I have a girlfriend from high school (Chrissy) who watches kids in her house, and she would take Evelyn for $40/day, but she is preggers and will stop watching kids in July. (Do we really want to uproot Evelyn after a few months? Won't that be hard?) Gr. We found a third in-home place that will watch Evelyn one day per week, came recommended by our babysitter, is licensed and legit and long-term, but she charges $70/day. Oh, sure, she includes all the food, has a very low adult-to-child ratio, and has been in business for nearly a decade, but $70 a day??

So we are deciding. We want to do what is best for Evelyn, while also doing what we can afford. We have been so lucky up to this point, but with Jon's shop just starting up and the immediate financial future a little murky, we don't want to commit to something more than we can handle. And so we are still deciding.

And for anyone who is curious, Colorado has one of the highest cost of childcare as a percent of income. The state is the third-highest for child-care costs for 4-year-olds and ranks eighth for infant day care, at $905 a month, according to 2009 KidsCount in Colorado, published by the Colorado Children's Campaign. Yeah, that's great...

Unraveling at the seams

Earlier this week I went to work, had a normal day, came home, changed into my "house clothes" (i.e. non-dry clean only), and played with Evelyn. When I went to bed that night I was hanging up my work pants and noticed a one-and-a-half-inch HOLE in th rear seam. The pants I had worn all day, at work, had a giant hole in the butt.

* face palm *

Good news!

Jon has found a new location for his tattoo shop, signed a lease, and begun construction! Woo hoo! He has been in negotiations with the landlord for months, really, making sure the city would approve of all construction permits before signing a lease, negotiating the rent to account for some of the remodelling costs, reaching agreement on various terms. Thankfully everything worked out and Jon is now moving forward with Fortune Cookie Tattoo, version 2.0.

The shop is located at 14th and Tremont in downtown Denver. Great location, very central. Two blocks from 16th Street Mall, two blocks from the convention center, two blocks from Civic Center Park, two blocks from the light rail station. The space used to be a tattoo shop, oddly enough, but the old renters outgrew the space after ten years and decided to expand.

This new location needs a little work. A face lift, new windows, some minor interior construction, counter tops, and lots of paint (ugh, the old tenants painted the place black and teal), but that is far more doable than the last place. Jon's contractor estimates the construction could be finished within a month! And, the icing on the cake, the city has already approved the plans and issued all necessary permits! The ball is rolling. Now let's just hope it keeps rolling.

This is all very good news. Much needed very good news. Jon has been unemployed and/or underemployed since last June. The time seemed right to open his own shop, but when the last location fell through and there was so much aggravation, we were crestfallen. We moved forward with a lot of trepidation this second time, but that was a good thing. In hindsight, that last place just came together way too fast without enough time to think about all the ramifications. Expensive life lesson. This new place is much more thought out, much more planned, and much better all around. (Plus, the landlord isn't insane and miserly.)

Oddly, since this good news and forward momentum, which all happened last Friday afternoon, I've started having dreams where I am losing my job. Last night my dream involved some sort of a consultant coming into the office to determine the relevance and importance of each person's job, and I spent a long time trying to convince her that what I do is valuable. Ugh.

Maybe my brain doesn't think good can be just good. It thinks something is going to go wrong. I don't know. Let's just hope I haven't developed some sort of subconscious soothsayer powers I'm not aware of.