Blanket = sleep

Oh, my darling daughter. Isn't she fabulously adorable? Yes. And she is also enjoying that graham cracker. Here she is with her auntie Rosie and her rocking horse, at her grandmother's house for Thanksgiving. All the best things in the world!

Thanksgiving was lovely. Really great food (um, best sweet potatoes ever!), lovely company, lots of relaxing, etc. Evelyn wasn't at her best, what with being away from her own bed and all, but she was pretty good. She really liked the wooden rocking horse in the picture above, as well as a cool dog book Carol has at her house. Oh, and all the people telling her how cute she is. Wait, maybe it's just me that likes that!

After Thanksgiving dinner I saw Fantastic Mr. Fox with Jon and Rosie and I loved it. LOVED it. So much fun, and beautiful, too.

The rest of the weekend we spent getting ready for the next holiday by cutting down a Christmas tree, decorating it and the house, and putting up lights outside. Our house is exploding Christmas joy, so be prepared. We underestimated Evelyn's grabbing height and already we have a couple broken tree ornaments. She also has taken quite fondly to candy canes. Sigh. Yes, she has inherited my sweet tooth.

Other things this week: Evelyn has suddenly become very attached to one of her blankets. She pulls it out of her crib, drags it around the house, drags it through the front yard, chews on it, leaves it on the floor for the dogs to walk over, pulls it over her head, covers the dogs with it, etc. I don't know if this is short-lived obsession or a new "attachment item," but it is already causing issues because that dang blanket was SO dirty. We had to wash it. But alas, Evelyn didn't sleep well last night. Finally, at 3:30am, after Jon had tried all other tactics to get her to sleep, he went and got the blanket out of the dryer and gave it to me to give to her. Usually, after Evelyn has been awake for a while at night (which isn't very often, really), she gets mad as a bee if you try to put her back in her crib. But once she saw her blanket, she just snuggled up with it, fussed for a second, and then went back to sleep. Ugh. Blanket = sleep. So I went online this fine Cyber Monday to try and find a replica blanket, but to no avail. They don't make them anymore! At least not that I could find. I guess we better hang on to the one we have!

Also, Evelyn got her first real goose egg. She slipped and hit her head on a table and ended up with a big goose egg welt on her forehead. Poor baby. I think it hurt me as much as her. The table also scraped her head, so after the bruising went down, she still has a big scratch on her forehead. I hate it when she gets hurt.

And so I guess that is all. I hope everyone had a lovely holiday.

Pie!

First, some bad news. Jon's shop is not going to happen. Well, at least not in the location we orginally thought. The story is long, but let's just say that we can't come up with $25,000 to make some changes to the building, and even if we could, it is ridiculous that the landlord didn't own up to his responsibilities to make the changes himself, and even if he is a cheap $%^#, he could have done the right thing. And so, instead of that, we are getting bought out of the lease and will recover about 50% of the money we've put in. That isn't ideal, but c'est la vie. An expensive learning experience. But, despite all this, I feel good about the decision. Yes, the location is great, but if going into this location means dealing with a crazy landlord, a hateful lawyer, and a litigious situation, we'll pass. And...scene.

But now, some good news! I made pie! Delicious pie! Would you like to try it yourself? Hooray!

Pear and Cranberry Pie
(taken from an episode of some show on the Food Network. I watched it once and can't remember the name. It was an Alton Brown recipe.)

• Double pie crust (I had store-bought in the freezer, so I used that)
• 3.5 pounds of pears, peeled and sliced (I used a mix of red pears and bartlett pears)
• 1/3-1/2 cup of dried cranberries (depending on how much you like cranberries. Also, I think this would be really delicious with blueberries.)
• 3/4 cup + 1 Tbsp white sugar
• 2 Tbsp AP flour (or tapioca flour)
• 1 Tbsp fresh lemon juice (or some zest. I used both and Jon thought it was too much)
• 1/4 tsp. fresh ground nutmeg (the orignal recipe calls for a lot more, but I thought the pie tasted too nutmegy--personal choice here)
• 1/4 tsp. cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp. salt
• 2 Tbsp butter, cut into small cubes

Put the sliced pears and dried cranberries inside a collander, place it on top of a small sauce pan, toss pears with 1/4 cup of the sugar, and set aside. Wait a good 30 minutes for the pears to mascerate just a little, releasing some of their delicious juices into the sauce pan. At this point you can A) reduce the pear juice/sugar mixture by half over medium heat, or B) just set the pear juice aside.

Preheat oven to 500 degrees. Yes, 500. Adjust your oven rack to the lowest position and place a rimed baking sheet on the rack. While the oven preheats, the baking sheet will get good and toasty, helping to crisp up the bottom crust.

Roll out your pie dough, put one half in the pie tin.

Toss the mascerated pears and cranberries with the flour, 1/2 cup of the sugar, lemon juice, cinnamon, nutmeg, and salt. Toss, toss, toss. Mound the fruit into the pie tin and dob the butter bits on top. Cover with the second pie crust, crimp the edges and cut a few slits for ventilation. Brush the pear juice over the top crust, but not the edges, until well covered, and then sprinkle the remaining one tablespoon of sugar over the top.

Put the pie into the oven on the preheated baking sheet. Reduce heat to 425 degrees and bake for about 45 minutes, until the crust is golden and the pears are cooked through but not mushy.

Let the pie sit for quite a while before cutting. Alton Brown recommends up to four hours! Madness! I lasted about an hour before I had to dig in and try a piece.

Enjoy!

New moon on the rise

I have not read any of the Twilight books, nor have I seen any of the Twilight movies. Maybe I will at some point, just to understand the madness, but that day is not today. What I will do is post a mock Twilight screenplay by my favorite movie reviewer, Eric D. Snider. Enjoy!

(And by the by, I take great issue with werewolves who change from man to beast without the curse of the moon and at any time they choose, and also with vampires who can walk around in the day and don't want to kill humans. I mean, come on! Joss Whedon would be so disappointed...)

********************

MY SCREENPLAY ADAPTATION OF STEPHENIE MEYER'S "NEW MOON"
By Eric D. Snider

Scene 1

CHARLIE: Happy birthday, Bella! You're 18 now, old enough to make adult decisions and choose your own path!
BELLA: Eh, I think I'll just keep doing whatever Edward wants.
CHARLIE: If I had any actual relevance in your life I'd be concerned. Anyway, here's a camera. Use it to take pictures of your friends.
BELLA: When you say "friends," do you mean "friend," and do you specifically mean Edward?
CHARLIE: Who else would I mean? The classmates you've been ignoring since you first laid eyes on Whitey von Pastyface?

* * * * *

Scene 2

BELLA: Hello, my undead stalker! How are you?
EDWARD: Brooding and tortured as always.
BELLA: Wonderful! Hey, Charlie gave me a camera. Could you, a vampire, please stand here in broad daylight so I can take your photograph? Oh, and hold this cross, this holy water, and this clove of garlic, too.
BRAM STOKER: (turns over in grave)
JACOB: Hey, Bella! Remember me?
BELLA: By the steroids of A-Rod! Jacob, you're huge! I've never seen such a hunky, delicious slab of Indian meat! Tell the women in your village they don't have to go down to the river to do laundry anymore, they can beat their clothes against your abs!
EDWARD: I'm standing right here, Bella.
BELLA: Not now, Powder. Jacob, why are you so buff all of a sudden?
JACOB: Oh, um, no reason. This happens to all Native Americans when they turn 16. Hey, you don't have any Snausages on you, do you?

* * * * *

Scene 3

CARLISLE: Happy birthday, Bella! We thought it would be fun for you if we stood around posing like models while you opened some gifts from us.
BELLA: Well, I'm really not big on birthdays, but OK.
EDWARD: Bella, you're bleeding!
BELLA: Look, just because I'm in a grumpy mood doesn't mean you can blame it on --
EDWARD: No, you have a paper cut!
BELLA: Oh. That.
EDWARD: Let me get you a Band-Aid.
BELLA: Jasper, why are you pouring salt and pepper on me?
JASPER: Um, because you're bland? Hello?
EDWARD: Jasper! Do not eat my girlfriend!
BELLA: (thinking) Dear diary: Today Edward finally called me his girlfriend!!
EDWARD: That's it. Bella, the Cullens are leaving Forks, and we're never coming back. It's totally for other reasons, though, and not because Jasper tried to kill you.
BELLA: What?? What other reasons??
EDWARD: I don't love you. I don't want you. I'm no good for you. Stay away from me. I hate you.
BELLA: This is so sudden! It comes immediately after Jasper's attempt on my life and is clearly nothing more than you lying to protect me, and yet I take you completely at your word that you simply don't love me anymore! My heart is breaking! My dumb, dumb heart!

* * * * *

Scene 4

JESSICA: I'm so glad we're hanging out again, Bella! You were such a drag when you were depressed that I'd forgotten what a drag you also are when you're not depressed!
BIKER DUDE: Hey, sour-faced emo chick! Wanna ride on my motorcycle!
BELLA: Eh, sure, why not?
EDWARD: Bella! Don't do it!
BELLA: What the eff? Edward?
EDWARD: I'm here in ghost form, or possibly just in your imagination, to warn you against doing things that are obviously stupid and should require no special warning!
BELLA: I've missed you so much, Ghost Edward! But I'm doing it anyway.
EDWARD: Don't! It's reckless!
BELLA: More reckless than dating a vampire?
EDWARD: Don't argue with Ghost Edward!
BELLA: What are you, my conscience? Get lost, Jiminy Cricket.

* * * * *

Scene 5

BELLA: Jacob, I was hoping you would help me restore this old motorcycle and in the process fall deeper in love with me despite knowing for certain that you will never have me.
JACOB: I'd love to be your consolation prize! I just need to go for a walk first. Hang on, I'll get my leash.
BELLA: You're really sweet, Jacob. I'm gonna ride the HELL out of this motorcycle. Just you try and stop me, Ghost Edward....
JACOB: Bella! You crashed! Are you OK? Here, let me take off my shirt and leave it off for the remainder of the film.
BELLA: I approve of this.
JACOB: Sorry I've been acting a little weird lately. The other guys in my pack -- I mean tribe -- have been hounding me -- I mean bugging me -- to join them. Here come some of them now!
BELLA: Are they friendly?
JACOB: Hang on, I'll see. (Sniffs their butts.) Yeah, they're cool.
SAM: What's up, dawg? Sorry to interrupt your puppy love here. We're gonna go chase some cars, wanna come with us?
JACOB: You're barking up the wrong tree.
BELLA: Right, you're werewolves, I get it.
JACOB: What gave it away??
BELLA: Oh, probably the story you told me in the last movie about your ancestors being werewolves.
JACOB: In hindsight, that may have been unwise on my part.
BELLA: Vampires, werewolves -- it's like I'm living in "Monster Mash." My life is a Halloween novelty song.
JACOB: You should stay away from me. I'm dangerous.
BELLA: I've been getting that a lot lately.
JACOB: I'm gonna go carouse with my wolf buddies. As you can see, they're already shirtless, too.
BELLA: I know! I haven't seen so much smooth, underage beef since Safeway had a special on veal!

* * * * *

Scene 6

ALICE: Bella, Edward thinks you're dead, and he's going to kill himself! It's just like the end of "Romeo and Juliet," which you happened to be reading earlier in the movie! Who could have foreseen that it would come up again??
BELLA: Well, you, with your psychic powers.
ALICE: Yes. Also, anyone who's ever seen a movie before.
BELLA: We have to get to Italy to stop Edward!
ALICE: What about your father?
BELLA: My what now?
ALICE: Your dad? Charlie?
BELLA: I don't even know who you're talking about.
ALICE: I should warn you, Edward is trying to provoke the Volturi into killing him, and they are not to be messed with. They're creepy, soulless monsters -- and that's just Dakota Fanning.
BELLA: Please, I know all about vampires. They sparkle in the sunlight, they never drink blood, and they listen to Death Cab for Cutie. Duh.
BRAM STOKER: (head explodes)

* * * * *

Scene 7

ALICE: There's Edward! He's standing in the doorway of that church, revealing himself to the crowd!
BELLA: Edward! Stop! Put your shirt back on!
EDWARD: You don't want people to know I'm a vampire?
BELLA: No, it's just that after spending so much time with Jacob I'm embarrassed for you.
ARO: Edward, your girlfriend knows too much. She must be killed.
ALICE: Wait! I had a vision! In the future, Bella is a vampire, too.
EDWARD: Spoiler alert!
ARO: Well, why didn't you say you were thinking of converting? That changes everything! Mazel tov!
BELLA: My parents will be disappointed, but it's for the best. Interfaith marriages are so difficult.

* * * * *

Scene 8

JACOB: Oh good, you're back from Italy, and you brought a heroin addict with you. No, wait, that's Edward.
EDWARD: Cram it, Teen Wolf. Bella is mine now, and she doesn't need some mangy mutt slobbering all over her.
JACOB: Don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
EDWARD: I don't like you now!

(JACOB becomes a wolf, lunges at EDWARD; EDWARD swats him on the nose)

EDWARD: Bad dog! Bad dog!
BELLA: (thinking) Where do his pants go, anyway?
EDWARD: Fetch, boy! (throws a rock; JACOB runs after it) Bella, I'll agree to turn you into a vampire, but only on two conditions. First, you have to marry me.
BELLA: OK. What's the second one?
EDWARD: No pets.

(Fade to black; roll credits; pump theaters with Axe Body Spray to neutralize the dangerous levels of estrogen.)

A non-update

It's been a week-and-a-half since my last post, but sadly, I have nothing to say!

I finished a really big knitting project and it turned out AWESOME, but I can't post pictures because it is a Christmas gift. Hm...that's not interesting.

OK, a small picture...

Ooh, Evelyn dialed 911 this weekend! Luckily, Jon had the presence of mind not to hang up so we could tell the dispatcher that, no, there is no emergency, and yes, our 14-month-old just called the police, and sorry.

Evelyn has started throwing full-on toddler tantrums. That's fun.

Let's see...well, Thanksgiving menu planning is in full gear, but that really isn't interesting, either! I got nothin'! Unless a butter-rubbed turkey with roasted brussel sprouts, sweet potato cakes, mashed potatoes, squash soup and stuffing muffins sounds interesting. I mean, it sounds delicious, but not interesting.

I will get my act together, take some adorable pictures of Evelyn, and get back to you.

Rice pudding

First of all, that was some damn fine rice pudding. I have it in my lunch today as well. I am excited to eat it. Would you like the recipe? Oh, ok, I have it right here!

• 1 cup of rice (both recipes I references said to use long-grain rice, but I only had normal-grain rice on hand, and it worked out just fine)
• 2 cups of water
• A bit of lemon zest
• A knob of butter
• 4 cups of whole milk (again, I'm sure you could use low-fat milk, but I had whole milk, the recipes called for whole milk, and I want a bigger bum, so I used whole milk)
• One vanilla bean, split (or vanilla extract, like 1.5 tsp)
• 2/3 cup sugar (I used mostly white sugar with a bit of brown sugar)
• 2 tsp. cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp. nutmeg
• 1 tsp. salt

Already you are excited, right? So cook the cup of rice in the two cups of water with the lemon zest and knob of butter in the water. You know how to cook rice, right? Good. (OK, if you don't, you cover the pot, bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer, and wait until the water is absorbed, about 15 minutes.) I kept my rice extra sticky by NOT rinsing it beforehand (as you would for Japanese-style rice) and using the full 2:1 water/rice ratio. Don't let it get too dry. Move the rice to a bowl, remove the lemon zest and discard it. Wipe out the pan you were using, and pour into it the rest of the ingredients: milk, sugar, spices. (As an aside, if you are using vanilla extract instead of a vanilla bean, wait to add the extract until the very end, and do it off the heat.) Bring to a simmer until the sugar is dissolved, add the rice back into the milk mixture, return to a gentle simmer, keep the lid OFF, and stir regularly until the whole thing is thick and delicious. For me, on medium heat, that took about 30 minutes. You want to get to a point where a spoon will stand up in the pudding by itself.

Now serve it up and eat! Can be served warm or chilled. It's just that awesome.

Well, I was going to write a post about how Evelyn is uber clingy lately, but only when I am home, and especially in the mornings, but now I have gone too long. Let's just say that she really wants me to hold her ALL THE TIME and she has taken to getting between me and whatever I am standing in front of (say, the stove) and pushing my legs until I move back and therefore have room to pick her up. She does not do this with her father. She is content to play by herself for a bit when she is with her father. But when I am home it is an entirely different story. If I am cooking, she wants to be held. If I am sitting on the couch, she wants to be sitting on me, or climbing up my chest, or sliding down my legs, or crawling on my lap. The constant tugging at my pants as I walk around is awesome, too. I have some working-mom guilt going on, because I totally give in to her every single time. (Also, this behavior is 10 times worse on the days I go to work. Weekends are much easier, at least on this front.)

I get so frustrated because, COME ON, I need to pee without you trying to get on my lap! And I need to get dressed for work without you crying and whining and flailing about on the floor. And I need to make dinner without holding a 25 pound baby because eating bean burritos and potato chips is not a balanced meal!

I am so spent by the time Evelyn goes to bed, even though I have only been home for a couple of hours, that the night is over for me. Two hours of pushing and pulling and crying and tugging and whining and grabbing is my limit.

But I love that baby. I do. So much. More than I can write because I don't have a vocabulary big enough to convey the amount and intensity of the love. I only wish that sometimes, in the evenings, just a little, I had my body to myself. It's a phase, right? Right?!

Halloween, belated

Mama Bear

My mom was here last week and a good time was had by all. Or, rather, I hope a good time was had by all. A good time was had by me, that's for sure.

Jon took some pictures, including a few using a crazy new camera, so I will post more about our week when I have the pictures.

A few random thoughts from the week:

1. I am eating less meat. Not no meat, but less meat. My goal is to abstain from eating factory-farmed meat. I have no problem eating a pig that was raised sustainably, lived happily for it's few years on this planet, was killed humanely, and then fed to me. I do take issue eating a chicken that was raised in the way most chickens are raised. I won't get into it. But it's not pretty. /rant

2. Evelyn is crazy smart. Like, CRAZY smart. It is freakin awesome. She is really good at copying what you do or say, and then remembering it later. Take for example the whale noises. My mom taught Evelyn to say "what a whale says." This noise is akin to humming, but all crazy. Like Dot in Finding Nemo. My mom taught Evelyn to talk like a whale, and then later in the day and even later in the week Evelyn could remember. Because she is a genius. She also licks her fingers when she gets food on them (instead of wiping them on her face or shirt), and this morning when Jon said "let's go downstairs," Evelyn walked to the basement stairs. Genius.

3. Every week should be three days on, four days off of work. That would ROCK.

4. I plan to make rice pudding for dinner tonight. OK, well, I guess having it for dinner won't be ideal. Maybe a little salad and then a whole lotta rice pudding for dessert. Yum!

5. We are having a few raucusy guys over to watch the Broncos game tonight. Two of them fight a lot. (Not like fisticuffs, but arguing quite loudly. It's annoying.) I think I'm going to have to put on my Mama Bear hat and tell them to Quiet Down or You'll Wake the Baby!