Evelyn wanted to dress like her daddy

Exhausted

I have been exhausted and irritable for two weeks now. Part of it has to do with the mysterious moon cycles and womanhood, part of it has to do with poor diet, and a lot of it has to do with stress.

BECAUSE I BOUGHT A HOUSE, PEOPLE. A HOUSE!

Granted, I had been thinking about the idea of buying a house for the past two-and-a-half years, and seriously researching location and timing and the realities of homeownership for the past six months, but the time from "hey, maybe this is a good time to buy a house" to "sign here on the dotted line and hand over that earnest money" happened really quickly. Two weeks max.

Considering that, adding in a dose of "I'm turning three and I am the boss of everything" attitude coming from my child, plus a dash of general sleeplessness, and I am frakkin exhausted. Every day. All day. Super duper tired. OH, and did I mention it has been hot as Hades around here? Well it has, and I have no a/c, no swamp cooler, no attic fan, which means I am sweaty and ill-temepered and disagreeable most evenings. And tired. Which really just snowballs into a big ol' pile of piss-poor attitude.

("Have an ATTITUDE of GRATITUDE!"  keeps running through my mind. I want to punch my mind in the face.)

Jon has been very helpful trying to help me keep things in perspective. Yes, it is hot, but it won't be in a month. Yes, buying a house is scary, but it is awesome, too. Yes, Evelyn is really difficult right now, but she won't be in 20 years. I want to punch him in the face, too. But that is the exhaustion and stress talking. I don't really want to punch my husband in the face. (More like the gut.)

I used to think I handled stress well. Turns out I don't. Thankfully, though, I have a pretty low-stress life. I just need to get through the next six months without devolving into a pile of hysterical sleep-deprived laughter, taking baby steps along the way, and then I'll be in my new awesome house, with new awesome air conditioning, my super awesome family, and my rotten dogs.

I bought a house

I bought a house this weekend. Or, actually, I signed a contract to build a house. This is pretty HUGE! And exciting! And expensive!

I am so excited for my new house, though. It has 3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, about 1,700 square feet, two levels, two-car garage. Our estimated completion date is January. I wish I could post a picture of the floorplan, because it is awesome. We'll be living in the Stapleton neighborhood with about three million other young families with young children. Good schools. Tiny yard (hooray!) but lots of communal grass area and about a thousand parks, including an 80-acre park with a rec center, ball fields, playground, bike trails, etc., only two blocks away.

I went to the homebuilder's "interactive design studio" website to see if I could create my dream kitchen online. It really showed me how things have changed over the past few years. It asks you to enter you base home price and your interest rate so it can estimate how much the options you are choosing will end up costing. The lowest interest rate you can choose from the drop-down menu is 5.25%. We are going to lock in around 4.375%!

Sweet.

I'm really really happy about the choice we made.

Real Estate

Jon and I are looking for a house. To buy. Our first real estate purchase. The next 30 years of paychecks. Woah.

We have both lived in rented houses for the past decade or so, and as such we have a good list of things we want (and do not want) in a home. Three bedrooms. Walkability. Young families and lots of kids. Good schools. Cooling system. Storage. Separate space for "hanging out" (whether it be a second living room, a finished/finishable basement, loft area, something). Bathroom off the master bedroom. Small yard. Safe area. Sense of community. A good flow. A good vibe.

We have a price range and a mortgage dude and a real estate lady. What we don't have is a location.

Scratch that. We actually have two locations: Old Town Littleton and Stapleton. However, the two areas could not be farther apart or more different.

Old Town Littleton:

• + Bigger houses, around 2,300 sq ft (- Bigger utility bills)
• - Bigger yards (- Bigger water bills)
• + Lower property taxes
• + Great schools
• +/- Older neighborhood
• - Fewer young families and kids
• + Our existing neighborhood, so we know the area well
• + Short commute for me, medium commute for Jon
• - Farther from existing friends and family
• - Neighborhood is where it is going to be--not "up and coming" or growing or improving
• + Safe
• + Walkable to Old Town
• + Close to Light Rail
• + No covenant control
• - Unclear backyard chicken situation
• - Could end up with "fixer upper"

Stapleton:

• + Small yards (+ Very low water usage)
• - Some yards tiny to non-existent
• + Very walkable
• + Tons of young families and kids
• + Very up-and-coming neighborhood
• - Neighborhood can get a little sketchy if you go a mile in any direction
• - Much longer commute for me, a little longer for Jon
• + Lots and lots of parks
• + Strong community vibe
• + Shared yard space with nearby houses, kind of a communal yard between houses
• - Much smaller house square footage, more like 1,700 sq ft (+ Much lower utility bills)
• + Houses built with eco-friendly design in mind
• +/- Decent schools, improving significantly
• - Higher property taxes (includes trash service)
• - HOA fee (includes shoveling sidewalks, maintaining communal grass areas/parks, and water bill)
• - Lots of covenant control
• - No chance for backyard chickens
• +/- New home construction

So you see they are totally different, both have a lot of pros and cons, and we can't decide which we would prefer. We likely will look at houses in both areas, but the houses are so different that it could be hard to compare them to each other.

One thing I do know, though, is that I am totally ready to be a homeowner. Bring on the do-it-yourself projects and mystery breakdowns. Bring on the mortgage. Just so long as you also bring on the paintable walls, self-determination, and NO MORE MOVING FOR YEARS AND YEARS.

Unicorns and little girls and merriment and such

I am throwing Evelyn a unicorn birthday party. I should say Jon and I are throwing Evelyn a unicorn birthday party, but let's be honest here, Jon doesn't really care about the decorations or the goodie bags or the madness that will ensue. All he cares about is having a nice birthday for his little girl. The crazy comes from me.

BUT NOT THIS YEAR.

I am vowing to have a crazy-free birthday party. I am going low-key. I'm not making anything other than cupcakes. Oh, sure, I might make ice cream cone cupcakes, or maybe dip some bugles in white chocolate and turn the cupcakes in to unicorns, but that is it. Oh, and sure, I might see if there is a way to create unicorn horns for little girls to wear. Maybe. OR I might buy some. See, not so crazy.

Ideas so far:

• Buying unicorn party invitations from Etsy. (Done! Love supporting the handcrafter.)
• Buying handmade unicorn finger puppets from Etsy. (Done!)
• Making either cupcakes in ice cream cones (for that unicorn shape) OR
• Making cupacakes in a regular shape with unicorn decorations on top.
• Raiding a party supply store for anything unicorn related, pink or purple.
• Glitter and sparkles. Lots of glitter and sparkles.
• Inviting friends of Evelyn, not boring old adult friends and family.
• Buying sparkley and fun pink and purple balloons.

I think that is a perfectly reasonable list so far. The party is in four weeks, so I have time to think it through. Since this is the first "friend" party we are hosting, I don't really know what to plan in the way of activities. Do five 3- and 4-year-old girls need set activities? Will they just run off and play? I'm thinking maybe face painting. Would that be fun at the party? Maybe Jon could do it... Or something else. A movie? No, too much sitting. A craft? Could work, but then I'd have to figure out what would to create. Rent a bouncy castle? I have time to figure those things out.

Birthdays! Hooray.

Stop being stupid

This is a post about not being stupid. That was my New Year's Resolution, essentially. To act like an adult. To treat myself well. To stop being stupid.

I mention this today because I have had a wicked case of the stupids, lately. For, oh, the past three months, let's say. Or 31 years. Whichever. Mostly related to food.

UGH

I don't know why it is so frakkin hard to know that XYZ food makes me feel good, while 123 food makes me feel bad, so why not just eat the XYZ food? No. Because I love the 123 food. But why do I love it when it makes me feel bloaty and lethargic and blah? Why can't I just do what is right (when the choice is laid before me)?

Jon and I had a kind of State of the Union marital discussion a couple months back. (We are great, no worries there.) But I think the stress of that kind of discussion sent me into a little terrible food spiral. As all stressful situations do. Or Saturdays. And since then I haven't pulled out of the tail spin. It's been all fast food and LifeSaver candies all the time. Fried cheese and potato chips. TERRIBLE FOOD CHOICES. And how have I felt? Bloaty, lethargic, and blah.

So lethargic, in fact, that I finished a big report yesterday at work, decided to "rest my eyes" for a few mintues in the office quiet room, and woke up an hour later. Yeah. At work. I took a one hour nap. And then this morning I woke up at 6:45am, decided to rest my eyes a few more minutes at get up around 7:00am, but didn't actually wake up until 8:00am. Late for work. Again. Napping at work. I am a model employee.

So I have to recognize that my food choices are leading to some terrible physical feeling. And yet...

I know what works for me. No sugar. Less refined carbohydrates. Lots of veggies and fats. Hooray! And yet...

And yet NOTHING. Time to stop being stupid. Time to stop thinking of food as a device for anything other than fueling my body. Time to enjoy life, including delicious food, but also energy and vitality and mental stamina.

In my perfect world I eat a wide variety of whole foods, in their most natural state, without the fat reduced or the sugar de-caloried or the carbohydrates doused in fake fiber. It looks more like a farmer's market than a McDonald's. It fills me up with minerals and nutrients and deliciousness, but not trans fat and frankenfoods.

Seems so simple.

Dingos and Coyotes

My mother-in-law sent me the following email this morning:

We were riding back to your house Tuesday when Evelyn and I saw a tow truck. She said she knew what a tow truck was because she had seen one in Cars [the movie]. She said it was pretty scary. Then she paused a minute and said, "It's too scary for you , Grandma,  You can't go yet.When you are as old as my mom you can go see it." I loved it.

My kid is the funniest kid ever.

Last night she was talking on her play cell phone when Jon overheard the following:

"Mommy, hi, mommy. Are you feeling ok? Be careful of the dingos and coyotes!"

She says stuff like that all the time now. Just silly things that make you love her a million times over. What a fabulous kid.