This is when the crisis starts

I just completed three weeks on Atkins and I am down 10 pounds. But really, that is nothing. Nothing like the weight-loss success most people have in the first few weeks. I lost way more than that the last time I did Atkins. And really, I lost 8 pounds that first week, and one each subsequent week. In the past, this is when the crisis of confidence would set in.

But not this time.

Yes, I am doing Atkins, but I'm also doing it in a way that remains true to my life(style). I will not be able to give up certain foods in the long run, so I'm not even pretending. Nuts? You are in. Certain beverages? Yep, I love you. (Diet Coke...I can't quit you.) There are lots of other foods I love and will easily give up, like Entenmann's cheese-filled coffee cake, or loaded nachos or Chic-fil-a waffle fries. Those foods will kill me. Nuts? They won't.

I also started excercising failry intensely three time per week. I am now in love and a total convert to boxing. It kicks me right in the teeth and I want more. I go for an hour and burn somewhere around 1000 calories, making the pain feel totally worth it. I've only been going  a few weeks, but already I can tell I'm getting stronger and more fit. I can't keep up in the classes, but I'm doing better than before.

All this is to say that I feel really good. My pants are looser. My wedding ring is fitting better. I need a new bra. I have more energy. I don't think I'm on a mad dash to losing 80 pounds or anything, but I feel like I'm on a (much slower) path toward long-term health, and I really hope I can stick with it.

And because I am trying to focus less on the scale and more on my health, I've decided I don't have a weight-loss goal anymore. I have a pant size goal. I am four or five pant sizes from where I'd love to be. That is a lot. But I'm ok with that.

Atkins, part deux

I'm back on the lowcarb bandwagon and have been for about two weeks. It isn't as awesome as the last time, but I feel better and I'm losing weight and I suppose that is all that matters.
One of the hardest things about Atkins is--and you will think I'm crazy here if you don't know anything about Atkins--is eating SO MANY danged vegetables! Seriously! (Basic Atkins primer: During the introductory "induction" phase, you are supposed to limit your net carbs to 20 grams. A net carb is the total carbohydrates minus fiber. Also, 12-15 of those net carbs are supposed to come from vegetables.)
For example, today I ate a giant salad with 2-3 cups of lettuce with about a quarter cup of shredded cabbage and a half cup of mushrooms cut up. That totals three net carbs. THREE. No way I can eat four giant salads a day.

OK, so lettuce is exceptionally low in carbs cuz its so high in fiber. What about a non-salad vegetable? Tonight I was thinking about roasting up some broccoli and tossing in EVOO and parmesan cheese. Net carbs for a cup of broccoli? Less than four. Now I'm up to seven. I need 5-8 more, but I'm done eating for the day! It is madness. Seriously. So much veggie noshing!

Also I'm supposed to drink a metric ton of water a day, which means I've been to the bathroom approximately a gajillion times today, because I can't stop drinking Diet Coke, which means I am alternating non-stop between soda and water, and that just leads me straight to the bathroom again! Note the run-on sentence? Yes, I'm trying to type fast because I need to pee. Again. Forever.

Amen.

Get that child an agent!

My girl loves music. she almost convinced me to buy her a ukelele today! Instead, we got kazoos. :)

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I miss my little girl

Maybe I am yearning for another child (the baby crazies come and go), or maybe Evelyn is at a particularly trying and adorable time in her life, but lately, more than ever before, I miss her when we are apart.

I miss her a lot when she goes to her grandma's house for a night.
I miss her terribly, to the point I want to lay in her bed just for a little bit, if she is gone two nights.
Three nights is just ridiculous.
I even miss her right now, middle of the afternoon, just because she is at daycare and I am at work.
When she goes to sleep, sometimes, just a little, I miss her then, too.

What is becoming of me?! Evelyn is so exhausting when we are together. Maybe it is guilt that I'm not "100% super mom" when we are together? Or that after two hours together between post-daycare pick-up and her nightly bath I am so overwhelmed with noise and mess and chasing and giggling that I look back when we are apart and only remember the serene happiness?

I don't know. But this longing for my child I saw five hours ago, and will see in four more hours, is a little silly.
But I miss her. Because she tells me my songs are beautiful, and likes to dance around in cicrcles until she falls, or makes up stories about Princess Evelyn and Princess Mommy flying through the kingdom before going home to take a bath. I mean, seriously. How awesome is that? So awesome.

See you soon, little one.

Ballerina dance

I had nothing to do with this. Evelyn said she needed her tutu and sunglasses so she could dance like "The Beauty."

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On why kids are pretty cool

Evelyn woke up this morning and told Jon he was her best friend.

In the mornings when I'm getting ready for work, Evelyn asks if I can come sit on the couch with her, just because.

Yesterday afternoon, after returning from her grandmother's house, the first words out of Evelyn's mouth were, "Mama! Let's Play!!"

Before bed, after reading books, Evelyn asks me to sing her the "Evelyn song" and tell her a story about Princess Evelyn. Last night she wanted a story about Princess Evelyn and the daddy and mommy dragons.

In the mornings she often asks how we slept, and then asks if we are all happy. She always says she is happy, too.

Always, in every situation, she wants to be "together family."

I love my daughter.

If I was a good knitter...

If I was a good knitter (as in a good girl, not a skilled knitter):

• I would not be sitting freezing in my office with my winter coat over my shoulders because I would have knit a gorgeous alpaca shawl.
• I would not be rubbing my hands together every 10 minutes to warm them up because I would have finished that second fingerless glove I have languishing in my "to be completed" pile.
• I would not be so cold my nose is running, because I would have brought a lovely scarf with me to work.
• I would not be so freakin cold because I would have completed a lovely cardigan sweater that I could leave at the office for overly AC'd days.

But since I'm not a good knitter:

• I haven't picked up the needles since before the holidays.
• I have designs on knitting gifts that never get started.
• I start gifts that never get finished.
• I am cold.

So there you have it.